Relationships and epilepsy
Last checked 07/11/2008
Most people with epilepsy have healthy relationships, in which epilepsy causes no problems. However, some people with epilepsy may have difficulties with relationships for various reasons. This page looks at different issues surrounding epilepsy and relationships.
- Initial diagnosis
- Meeting others
- Sexuality
- Impotence

- Fertility
- Parenting
- Contacts for further support
Initial diagnosis
If you have been recently diagnosed with epilepsy, you may worry that it will affect your relationships. Being diagnosed with epilepsy can be a shock and can take a while to come to terms with – not just for you, but for your friends and family as well.
There are several common responses to being diagnosed with epilepsy.
- You may worry about going out on your own in case you have a seizure.
- Friends and family might become over protective of you.
- Denial. You may find it hard to accept that you have epilepsy. Your friends and family may also find the diagnosis difficult to accept.
- You may worry about stigma and how others will react to the condition.
Meeting others
Having epilepsy can sometimes restrict social activities, for example, losing a driving licence can make it more difficult for people to go out, particularly if you live in an area where transport is poor.
You may feel less confident going out in public in case you have a seizure. You may choose to avoid social situations because you feel uncomfortable talking about your epilepsy.
Deciding when to tell others about a medical condition like epilepsy is a personal decision. You may be very open about your epilepsy, or you may prefer to wait until you know people better before talking about your epilepsy.
If you have difficulty meeting others, there are organisations which can help.
You may find it helpful to get in touch with others who have epilepsy, to share experiences and for support. Epilepsy Action can offer a number of ways in which people with epilepsy and their friends, family and carers can do this:
- Accredited volunteer scheme (England, Wales and Northern Ireland)
- Online community
- Branch network – groups in England, Wales and Northern Ireland
- Penfriends scheme in our membership magazine Epilepsy Today
Sexuality
Most men and women have se
xual feelings and this is no different for people with epilepsy. Many people with epilepsy worry that a seizure may occur during sexual intercourse. In fact a seizure is no more likely to occur at this time than at any other.
People with epilepsy or any long-term medical condition may experience sexual problems. This could be due to many reasons, for example, side-effects of medication. There is some information to suggest that some anti-epileptic medication can change several of the hormones that are responsible for a person’s ability to become sexually aroused, although this information is limited and remains a controversial area.
If you believe they you are experiencing sexual problems due to your epilepsy or its treatment, you may wish to discuss this with your doctor. There are also organisations which may be able to provide useful information and support.
- For more information see men and epilepsy
Impotence
Many men experience impotence at some time in their lives, for various reasons. Common causes can be stress, tiredness, illness, or alcohol. Epilepsy is rarely directly responsible for impotence. However, as impotence could be due to psychological and/or physical problems, some people with epilepsy who experience these symptoms could find them having an effect on sexual ability. Also, some anti-epileptic drugs affect the liver and can, therefore, theoretically cause a drop in testosterone level.
If you are having problems with impotence, you may wish to discuss this with your doctor. If the doctor thinks that there is some connection between impotence and epilepsy or anti-epileptic medication, they may suggest referral to an epilepsy specialist.
- For more information see men and epilepsy
Fertility
There is some evidence to show that having epilepsy slightly reduces a woman’s fertility. However, this effect is usually treatable. Having epilepsy and taking anti-epileptic drugs does not prevent a woman from receiving fertility treatment. A few women may experience a small increase in the number of seizures when taking certain hormone-based fertility drugs.
- For more information see women and epilepsy.
There is limited information about fertility in men with epilepsy. Some studies have suggested that men with epilepsy may have reduced fertility compared with men in the general population. This may be due to the effect of epileptic activity or anti-epileptic drugs on testosterone levels.
- For more information see men and epilepsy
Many people with epilepsy have no problems with fertility. However, if you are experiencing problems with fertility, you may wish to discuss this with your doctor, who can investigate possible causes.
Parenting
Many people with epilepsy successfully care for and bring up their children. There is very good evidence to suggest that if people follow sensible safety precautions, the risk of having a seizure that could harm a child is very small. Some parents may need extra support but this should be assessed on an individual basis. If you have concerns about caring for your children, you may wish to discuss these with your doctor.
Epilepsy Action from time to time receives enquires from parents who are worried that their children may be taken into care because either or both of the parents have epilepsy. However, no child would be removed from their parent(s) purely because their parent(s) have epilepsy.
- Other organisations can offer support and advice about parenting.
- Further information about pregnancy, parenting and safety
Useful contacts (UK)
Friendships and dating agencies
Counselling
Sexuality, impotence and fertility
- Sexual Dysfunction
- Family Planning Association
- Institute of Psychosexual Medicine
- Outsiders Sex and Disability Helpline
Parenting
Our thanks go to Dr Susan Duncan, Consultant Neurologist, Salford Royal Hospitals, for her advice on the original factsheet that this page is based on.
Information updated 29 November 2005
Epilepsy advice and information
- What is epilepsy?
- Children
- Depression
- Disability Discrimination Act (UK)
- Driving
- Education
- Employment
- Epilepsy in later life
- Getting a diagnosis
- Health care and welfare benefits
- Inheritance
- Learning disabilities
- Me and my dad
- Memory
- Men and Epilepsy
- Mobile phones and epilepsy
- Osteoporosis, osteomalacia and epilepsy
- Photosensitive epilepsy
- Relationships and epilepsy
- Safety
- Seizures
- Sports and leisure
- Stress and epilepsy
- Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy (SUDEP)
- Syndromes
- Travel abroad
- Treatment
- Women and epilepsy
- Young people and epilepsy
- Epilepsy Action Information Reviewers (EAIRs)
- Technical editing/writing and copyright
Epilepsy Helpline
- UK freephone 0808 800 5050
- International +44 113 210 8850
- Email: helpline@epilepsy.org.uk
- Txt msg: 07797 805 390 info





