Self-esteem and epilepsy

How does self-esteem affect us?

Your self-esteem is based on your beliefs and opinions about yourself. If you have good self-esteem, you tend to feel positively about yourself. You generally like and value yourself more. This can help you make decisions and try new or difficult things. You may be able to deal with problems or mistakes better, without putting too much blame on yourself.

If you have low self-esteem, you tend to feel negatively about yourself. You might feel hopeless or worthless, and blame yourself for things unfairly. Having low self-esteem can make it harder to deal with life’s challenges.

Self-esteem and mental health are closely linked. Having low self-esteem can make you more likely to develop problems with mental health like depression and anxiety.

Epilepsy and self-esteem

Living with epilepsy can have a negative effect on your self-esteem.

This can be due to many reasons, such as:

• Not being as independent as you would like, and needing to rely on others
• Not feeling good about yourself and embarrassed or ashamed about seizures or side effects of medicines
• Feeling less able to do your job, be a parent, or be a carer
• Feeling like you can’t take part in social events, or do activities that you enjoy
• Being told by others that you can’t do things because of your epilepsy
• Experiencing negative reactions (stigma) from others

Having low self-esteem can affect your overall wellbeing and make it harder to deal with your epilepsy.

Overcoming some of the difficulties listed above may improve your self-esteem and make you feel better about yourself. Some people with epilepsy tell us that, over time, they have found ways to live well and their self-esteem has improved.

How to improve self-esteem

Improving your self-esteem may help you to cope better with the challenges of living with epilepsy. This might mean you’re less likely to experience problems with mental health as a result.

There are many things you can do to try and improve your self-esteem and feel better about yourself. Different things work for different people, and it can take time to make a change. Just try what you’re comfortable with, and see what works for you.

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones

Challenge any negative thoughts or beliefs that you have about yourself. If you think you’re not good enough to do something, ask yourself why. Then think of some positive things about yourself to challenge this view. You can write them down, or even say them in front of a mirror. It can help to think of what you would say to a friend in a similar situation.

Try not to compare yourself to others

There are unique challenges from living with epilepsy. Try not to compare your own achievements and abilities to those of others. It might help to limit how much time you spend on social media if this is negatively affecting your mood or self-esteem.

Do things that you enjoy and are good at

Focus on your own skills and strengths, rather than comparing yourself to other people. Think about what you enjoy doing, and what you are good at. Doing these things are likely to make you feel better about yourself and boost your mood. It could be anything, like cooking a meal, doing something creative or caring for others.

Build a positive support network

Think about the people around you and whether they make you feel better or worse about yourself. You may be able to choose to spend more time with people who appreciate you and make you feel good about yourself.

Epilepsy Action has more information on volunteering and epilepsy support groups.

Practice being more assertive

Being assertive is about being able to express your own opinions and needs, while respecting those of other people. Think about how you could change what you say or do in different scenarios to be more assertive. It also means being able to say no when you want to and setting boundaries.

Challenge yourself

Set yourself a goal to try something new or to challenge yourself. It might be going to a social event or trying a new activity. Being able to achieve your goal can have a huge impact on your self-esteem and confidence. Breaking this goal down into smaller tasks can make it easier to manage.

Talk about it

Talking therapies like counselling can help if you have low self-esteem. We have more information on getting mental health support.

Epilepsy Action offers a befriending service for those affected by epilepsy.