I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 14. I’m 25 now and after being on many different medications, it’s still not completely under control.
This past weekend marked 14 weeks without a seizure for me, which is the longest I’ve been in a long time. Then unfortunately at a family gathering on Saturday I had a full tonic clonic seizure.
The day after, I went through a whole load of emotions. I felt guilty for ruining the family party, I felt angry that it had happened, like what was the point in going all that time without one, finally getting my head around the idea that one day it could stop, if it was just going to happen again. I felt lonely because although I have a massive family and such great friends, it’s so hard to explain to someone who isn’t going through it exactly how you’re feeling. I felt upset with myself for not feeling more positive.
After a few days of going through these feelings I’ve realised, it’s okay not to feel positive all the time. It’s okay to be angry and upset. Life isn’t perfect and just because you’re feeling low, does not mean you’re not doing an amazing job at coping with whatever it is you are going through. I’m proud of how I am dealing with having epilepsy and stay as positive as I can in this situation and anyone else out there dealing with it should remember that you don’t have to be positive all the time, it’s okay not to be okay.