My story began when I was a kid who has 14 years old to live like a glow. It took one day to change my whole life.
Once when I was in a lesson, doing homework assignments in a group of people. I felt like there is something wrong. My friend, who was sitting next to me asked me: are you okay?
And I said yes, although I knew that I was not able to manage my situation. I don't know even what was happening.
Then we knew later that I have a seizure, they called my family, and my journey begins from that very day.
I was sent to medical clinics, hospitals, needles, tests, drugs, EEGs, and even sometimes I was about an inch from being hospitalised in the ICU.
It was a rough journey with a lot of people who send you messages every day that you are different, and you cannot do anything.
I made it to the university, where I met many people who have been specific kinds of spiritual leaders to me, they don't teach me only books and articles, they teach me how to feel like I am good enough as am I.
Then a very difficult shift happened in my life!
I met a person who was life to me, I love him with every single beat of my heart, and I wanted to be loved!
Is that a lot to ask for?!
I wanted someone who accepts me, and he did. But suddenly, after the marriage, everything collapse. He rejected me for not being normal, even though I was good, have no seizures, took no medication, but he just cannot accept me anymore. I don't know why!
It's not my fault to have epilepsy, and he knew that before marriage.
We get divorced. He left me with many scars that I cannot heal alone.
My mental health breakdown, I felt like I am nothing. But my therapist listens to me, showing empathy, feel what I feel and he taught me that if you get rejected, then we have to accept that first, and then manage with here and now, and what can we do to treat this wound.
He helps me in a bunch of different ways, he holds my hands to stand up again, and live my life like I am normal, like any ordinary one in this life.
There were times when I hate myself literally for being in this situation, and the one I love rejected me. It was just like a knife in my heart, that I cannot get out or deal with it.
I want everyone who is suffering from any illness to know that: if you cannot hold it anymore, just go to a trusted therapist as I did.
He was like a boat that I crossed my difference with. He is one of a kind.
To everyone in this world I want to say:
I don't get that love in response, but you deserve someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK.
If you are someone who was injured with rejection, you need help to reach your dreams and protect yourself from your fears.
Good people like I have in my life will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws.
You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.