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Kiva

I first had a generalised seizure when I was around 14/15 and I remember it so well.

It was, quite obviously, one of the scariest moments of my life. I fell because I was experiencing Deja-vu and so really, how can you describe to your parents “I just collapsed on the floor, but it’s because I remembered something!” I mean…

I remember waking up and thinking “what the hell has just happened?” with a banging headache and a bitten lip. All I needed to do then was, get downstairs.
Simple! It was quite funny thinking about it now, the way I got myself downstairs.

"Sit on one step, one leg forward, lean back, another step, drop other leg, use both arms to move down slowly, let your dressing gown lead the way."

Every time I tried to stand up it felt like my stomach would come flying out through my mouth. Lovely… When I reached the bottom of the stairs I was already crying my eyes out, basically crawling to the kitchen attempting to call my mum. She came out and looked at me amazed, probably thinking “what on earth is my daughter doing?” When she realised that my lip was bleeding and I had exceeded the normal amount of tears a person should discharge, it was then that she came to realise that yes, something was wrong.

I was telling her that I’d fainted and that I felt sick and each time I mentioned Deja-vu she looked at me with a bit of an odd face trying to understand what I was saying.

We went to the medical centre and the woman there said that it was common for teenagers to collapse because of hormones so we went home thinking everything was okay.

The next time I had a seizure, I was walking to school with my 2 friends and then that deja-vu feeling hit me again, but I'd never been scared because I'd been getting these feelings for over a year and so therefore I thought that they were normal. This time I was scared and I'll never forget their voices shouting my name. The next thing I remember was my dad picking me up and putting me in the car.

I wont talk for too long but one of the saddest times, not too scary for myself as this had become quite "normal" I guess, but was when I was in the car with my family on the way to Chinese New Year. I was looking about the window and it was that dreaded deja-vu feeling again!!! and I knew what was coming.

My eyes started to push themselves to the right, my jaw was clenching and as I fell on my brother the last thing I remember hearing was him screaming and my mum shouting my name, as although this had already happened, it was the first time my family experienced it.

When I woke up I was under bright lights with doctors asking me if I knew where I was, if I knew my name and my mum was obviously in tears.

Epilepsy is a bitch (excuse the language) scary for others as well as the victim. I'm on medication so I no longer suffer from generalised seizures but absences. So everyone here who suffers, just think you are not alone.

Kiva
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