Growing up I thought I could achieve anything. I climbed every tree, was top of the class (thought I was) and scored in every football game I played. Secondary school was a bit more of a blur until it was sports day and I was 14 and I had my first seizure.
They're still unaware of what it was but the left side of my face dropped, I couldn't lift my arms or respond - it expressed symptoms of a stroke but within a year I was diagnosed with partial complex epilepsy. I lost a bit of my confidence but still headed to University with my goal of becoming a PE teacher.
At this point at least once a year I would have a tonic seizure, smashing my head open a couple of times and falling off a treadmill in the gym. I started to become a little embarrassed that I had epilepsy as I still had my partial seizures at least 2x a month. My final year of University broke me and my goals. I completed my year with lots of tonic seizures and made the decision it wasn't safe to become a PE teacher and work with children.
This has always been my dream and I know I am the perfect person yet I just can't do it and 5 years later I can't go back now as I have forgot it all (another problem). I left University and couldn't find a job, I searched for about 2 months with a strong degree behind me, nobody wanted me. I applied for everything, supermarkets, cleaning, nothing. I had to claim benefits.
I finally got a job in a call centre and I've worked in call centres since. I have no confidence anymore yet I am such a social person but simply due to being unable to drive I feel so unable to do any job I would want, does anybody feel the same? I feel my memory just gets worse and worse and I have no confidence. If there is a quiz I don't want to take part and I simply feel lost in life.
I am still the person who gets up back on the treadmill as I have always done (following that seizure) and still goes for runs (following smashing my head open). So I know I have the potential... it's just finding it.